◀ Edito

Elephants are cheaters...¹

On April 29, 2023

 He looks at himself for a long time in the mirror. He inspects closely his trunk, the outside then the inside. It’s clean, just washed. Tonight, it’s a special occasion, it’s his first date since the breakup. He’s wearing a green suit, custom made, Italian tailoring. A white shirt with a red ribbon, he will make a good impression. Later, he’ll untie the ribbon and some buttons so that his torso may appear. He can’t help but smile while looking at the mirror. He sees himself ten years ago preparing just like this for his ex spouse. He had forgotten what it was like to be classy. He finishes his preparation by putting on a sweet perfume made from wax and honey.

 He decided not to take his car to go to the date. After all, they will meet in Paris, in the Marais². He told him explicitly : “Friday night, in the Marais”. The “marais”… Who would want to meet people in the marais ? Babar was used to strange encounters on dating apps. This one… he has his own style. He may be a little boor but his picture is quite attractive. And it’s not too bad to be a little wild, he thinks…

He looks good today, that’s for sure. He saw the looks in the parisian subway : they were all staring at him crazily. “Nice trunk…”

He blushes. “How dare you !”, he says. With his paw, he refuses, flustered. Getting out of the subway, he feels a bit reassured. He is still able to seduct, to arouse desire. One forget these worries, after such a long marriage. His wife was used to liking him, and maybe he felt the same way. That wasn’t really sure anymore. He gets tangled and confused, he gets lost inside the maze of Châtelet.

  Despite his wanderings, Babar gets there five minutes early. He’s a precise elephant. He always made it important that his attitude matched his clothing. Today, he is a true gentlelephant. He waits by the terrace of a cafe of the Marais. May his date arrive soon, Babar is dashing and he is a prey in the marais. And himself doesn’t stop himself from looking at the passing people, sometimes classy, sometimes eccentric, but always attractive.

  It’s time… and no one comes to greet him. In fact, Babar waits for fifteen minutes. He finally arrives. A round belly, wide shoulders and a visible and accepted baldness. A random person wouldn’t see in this individual the slightest spark of seductiveness, even friendly. Babar sees in his face, however, confidence.

“I’m late, I had to see donkey”

The waiter of the cafe comes and asks.

“What will it be sir ?
- Chimichangas and a coffee !”

 He eats his meal. Babar watches. He looks at his teeth, his ears. They seem like trumpets to him. He believes he hears faint whistling as he devours his meal.

When he’s done, he burps then exclaims “It’s better outside than inside”. Babar laughs happily. Humor is an important variable in the game of seduction. He thinks he has a strong opponent. After all, this ogre isn’t just anybody, he tenderly thinks. It’s Shrek.

They wait for the bill, chatting. The two men both had monotonous marital lives. Shrek doesn’t hesitate to tell little stories to make Babar’s trunk shudder.

“Tell me Babar, do you believe in love ?”

Babar is surprised by this sudden question. He believed in it once, that’s for sure. He remembers loving his wife. Today, he’s not sure of anything anymore. It’s been too long since the silence settled in.

“Shrek, I think I believed in it once.”

Shrek takes Babar’s trunk in his hands. Both of them blush.

“I too, believed in it once”, Shrek whispers loudly.

 They walked all night, telling each other stories. Babar and Shrek went back each to their home with sweet dreams in mind.

Translator’s notes