◀ Edito

Menhir throwing, another useless breton sport

On April 8, 2023

If you have the black and white American flag everywhere, if you regret the time in May of 1968 where you could throw rocks at cops and be heard, or if you are a Asterix and Obelix fan : we found at the LH the sport for you : menhir throwing.

Nope, it’s not a french nationalist conference, but really a weird contest in which mainly the breton microcosm is interested. Men are meeting in Guerlesquin to find out who can throw the pebble the farthest. Well, “pebble”, maybe not : the menhir can weigh from 10kg to 25kg, enough to destroy a Mercedes or a Tesla on a day of protest. And one must admit that to see these men throw fiercely (while maybe somewhat drunkened) big ass paving stones is reassuring : we can be sure that they will not conquer Britain.

The menhir throwing record is as much as 7 meters, enough to resist numerous foes such as Thanos or Gérald Darmanin.

To each sport its categories, and menhir throwing is no exception. Obelix for adults (25kg), Asterix for teenagers (20kg), and Idéfix for the kids (for which it is still 10kg, holy shit). Women are also invited, in the category Falbala, to throw less than 20kg.

There are in Britain numerous contests such as this one : pig scream, cauliflower throwing, cherry tomato spitting, or winkle spitting.

I had the opportunity to meet a young breton who saw a contest of bale of straw throwing.

“It was impressive”, he says, the hand trembling. I asked him if he was alright.

“Yeah, yeah, but you see there was so much power in his throw. It’s like he canceled the laws of Newton, his throw didn’t follow any known law of physics.”

“So, he took the bale and threw it, right ?”, I asked.

“No, you don’t understand. Nobody can. I saw an angel.”

You can imagine the kind of Avengers made in Breizh we could assemble with such individuals.