◀ Edito

Elephants are cheaters - ending

On August 28, 2023

Babar comes out of the shower. It is time to go to two dates. He had no idea what was on his mind when he sent those messages to Shrek and Sonic. Maybe he thought that they would not have answered both at the same time. Maybe he wanted to be desired. He is shaving. An elephant’s skin has to be taken care of: it’s going to be looked at and contemplated. He sprays some water on his face to rub off the shaving cream: that was the secret of the freshness of his shave. He puts on some clothes and a coat. First, he will meet with Shrek and then he’ll see Sonic at a party.

When arriving at the bar for the first date, Babar watches the waiters horsing around in order to keep up with the customers. Shrek seems to be a little late. Annoyed, Babar looks at his watch. A young man is standing just in front of him.

“And you’re by yourself for this sweet moment?”, the young man says approaching.

Babar is extremely embarrassed. He throws up. The young man grabs a napkin to help him. He holds Babar’s hand while wiping the corner of his lips.

“Oh!”, Shrek shouts. Shrek rushes inside the bar. He catches the young man that was approaching his date’s mouth and throws him outside on the street like he is nothing.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. I was getting a little ready you know.” Babar pulls himself together.

“Don’t worry, I only got here 5 minutes ago”

Once seated at the table and Babar’s mouth cleaned, they could now carry on with their date. Two mojitos, and some peanuts were enough to make the afternoon much more enjoyable.

“So what do you do all day in your swamp?”
…

“What was your job?”
…

“Things like that, things like this…”
…
“Since when do you know this donkey?”
…

At the end of their conversation, there are only two peanuts left. Babar and Shrek both reach out to get them. At the edge, their hands collide and - suddenly - their eyes meet. Shrek’s lips move closer.

On a roof in the neighborhood, Sonic, equipped with binoculars, observes this date which happened in spite of himself. Crazy with jealousy, love too, he breaks them between his two hands. He metamorphoses into an alpha wolf ready to tear his targets apart.

Shrek kisses Babar’s lips. How cold they are! exclaims the ogre, surprised. Babar is certainly not at ease. This moment spent with him had confirmed his certainties, there is only one person who matters, it is Sonic.

“I am sorry Shrek… I…”
“It’s him, right?”
“What are…”
“It’s him that you love.” Babar is trying to look away. “I understand… I can’t fight love.”

Sonic just saw the two kissing. He is now sure. First, he would kill Shrek by inflicting the worst atrocities on him. Then he would cold-bloodedly kill Babar for playing with his heart.

Babar leaves the bar, followed by Shrek. A little shame, a little embarrassment lingers in the air but despite everything, they manage to say goodbye to each other to keep their heads held high. Babar leaves home to prepare for his date with Sonic.

Returning to his swamp, Shrek, alone, lights a few earwax candles. He sits back in his seat and breathes. Once again, he will be alone tonight. Wait! How strange, it looks like… furniture has been damaged. Shrek stands up and stares at the strange marks left behind. Claw marks, as if a ferocious animal had come rampaging through his house. The marks continue to the back door of the house. Shrek approaches it and - CRACK - the door shatters under the enraged force of Sonic alpha.

Shrek grabs a chair and uses it as a makeshift shield. Sonic alpha slowly approaches, growling.

“Sonic, is that you?!”
“Grr”
“It’s not what you think, you haven’t-”

Sonic alpha cuts the chair with his claw and jumps to Shrek’s neck. The ogre doesn’t give in and grabs Sonic’s mouth and pulls on his tail. Sonic lets out a loud cry and slowly approaches his sharp teeth towards Shrek’s throat.

The door opens… the donkey is here.
“Hey Shrek, what are you doing?”
“No go away donkey!”

Sonic takes advantage of Shrek’s inattention to free himself from his arms and rushes to attack the donkey. -CHWOOP- with one claw, he cuts off the donkey’s head. It floats around the room expelling blood.

“Nooooo! the donkey :( !!!”

Devastated Shrek falls. Sonic alpha slowly approaches Shrek and finishes him off with a violent blow to the head, crushing his brains.

Babar has returned home. He writes a letter for Sonic, which he will give on his date. He watches the sun go down slowly through his window. It’s the evening, it’s time. He hears his door open. Maybe his son? He signs his letter and hurries downstairs. Down the stairs, her son is stretched out, his throat open. The work of a beast, a heartless monster. Babar breaks down watching his son with a bright future, collapsed at the bottom of the stairs. Behind his body, Sonic Alpha stands, impassive, with a murderous look. Babar no longer understands. Why him? For what? For- Sonic just tore Babar’s body in two. His torso flies to the top of the stairs while his legs descend the steps almost naturally.

Sonic walks up the stairs and arrives in Babar’s room. He looks out the window, the sun has set. On Babar’s desk, he sees a letter signed “For Sonic”.

He reads it:

What I am sending you is not great writing.
I sort of pulled it out of my head for one night.

You know, when this great lady makes me miserable
Let my aching head collapse like it did yesterday
Well… I think of you and your funny hair
My empty hands dive into the air
And suddenly I see myself - against the wall -
Wrap, between my fingers, your thick curls
Feel your breath and the touch of my strokes.
As my finger spins, the branch thickens
Could these swirls come from the roots of madness?
Oh, this madness doesn’t scare me
It is tender, curved and undulating
We dive into it, discovering, the powerful
Scents of your perfume
And the mysteries within it.
But don’t imagine that I only think about that
You’re here, telling yourself that I’m already a fetishist

What saddens me the most is this moment:
The one where I remove my lips from yours
And I look at you - just for a moment -;
Your eyes that want me to come back;
Green had never seemed so welcoming to me,
So I come back, place my kiss – just for a moment –
On your mouth with its marvelous smile
In this mist of green and ruddy.

Sonic returns to normal, his tail disappears, his teeth retract. He sees better now. He leans against the window and watches the Moon kiss the waves of the sea. The rocks below the window are jostled by the incessant swells and now, by the smash of Sonic’s body having just jumped.