◀ Edito

Rififi in Téessedeu

On June 12, 2023

Once upon a time, in the distant forest of Brocéliande, there was a small creature named Toinou.

The adjective “small” here is just an affectionate understatement because Toinou measured 1m82 and weighed 67 kg. This athletic physique was a result of a frugal diet combined with intensive parkour training. In fact, Toinou’s lifestyle could be summed up as getting wasted on armagnac stolen from the local peasants.

Thanks to his pair of magical corkscrews, he could transfer the contents of an attacked barrel directly into his throat at a rate of 9 cL per second. His innate sense of balance allowed him to run without stumbling with 12 grams of alcohol in his blood, making him a formidable opponent for the forest police.

The years (and his depression) passing, Toinou’s insatiable thirst had earned him many nicknames, such as the hiccupper of the birch, the oak guzzler, or the barrel emptier. But his favorite remained Toinou of the woods, the big-livered plunderer.

One spring day, after swindling a peasant of his liquors and returning home in a tipsy state, our anti-hero gracefully tumbled into a thicket of brambles. Making the best of a bad situation, he decided to eat the blackberries present before they stained his clothes, for Toinou was a careful young man.

He twisted and turned with grace to escape the thorns and grab the last blackberries when his gaze met that of a young peasant who was observing him, torn between laughter and boredom. He was shorter than Toinou, with short chestnut hair framing a strong jawline and delicate features. His glacial blue eyes, cold with melancholy yet sparkling with wit, were locked onto the azure eyes of the brigand that the young peasant was judging.